Lost
by Kiriga
Summary: Oneshot about Phantom and Peta. Phantom muses and talks to himself alot after Peta died. More info inside. Rated K because there's actually nothing worth rating higher in there. Spoilers for volume 14 and mention of death


**Title:** Lost  
**Author:** kiriga  
**Fandom:** MÄR: Märchen Awakens Romance  
**Character/Pairing:** Phantom, Peta (see it as close friendship or more, even I don't know what I wrote it as XD)  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warnings:** Spoilers for the two lasts volumes, mention of death, a bit AU and maybe OOC, you decide it  
**Disclaimer:** Nope, still don't own. But I'd really want to...  
**A/N:** 938 words  
Kinda AU, since in the manga Phantom and Ginta fought directly after Peta and Nanashi's fight. Here, they rest one night, then fight. And of course, beware of OOC, even though I tried to write Phantom as IC as possible TT Also beware of loooong monologue. I thought that it would never end o.O (I wrote it first on paper… it's so annoying) However, I could divide it, so it doesn't seem as long.

Phantom stared from his place on the balcony, a distant look covering his features. Not one sound rose from the dark landscape, as if it was holding its breath, waiting for what would soon happen. The moon was of a sickly pale colour that night, Phantom mused. He could imagine it was that way because of the missing of the man who from time to time used it as his mirror and messenger. Phantom could still see every detail in his head of when Peta died. He closed his eyes and leaned against the cool stone.

Peta had been with him for so many years, it felt unreal to not have him standing next to him, wearing that familiar vampire grin. A second Phantom heard his friend's voice, reprimanding him for his battle against Ginta.

"Is that what you should be saying? You lost too, and died as well, don't you remember? I don't think you have the right anymore to scold me for things like this", he smiled and chuckled before setting his gaze on one lonely fire.

Peta had always wanted knowledge, he never got tired of learning and exploring the different possibilities of something. More than once had Phantom compared him to a curious little child when Peta had found something new that had grabbed his interest. Peta never did get the humour, instead he coldly told Phantom that he was in the way, so could he leave?

Phantom laughed again, but suddenly he felt his throat tighten painfully and the laughter became coughing. When it had calmed down, Phantom looked at the moon again.

"You couldn't have chosen a worse time to die, you know. Or maybe you could have, since it's you, I'm positive you'd find many opportunities that were worse. Since it's you and we both know you'd easily do something like that, it's just a child's play for you. But right now, I can't imagine a worse time." He paused. "On second thought, maybe it was the best time to die. I'm going to die for real soon, I can feel it, and the Chess will cease to exist. That is what I'm feeling. And if you were alive, you'd agree with me, wouldn't you? I know you'd feel it too, it's almost overwhelming me. But you know what else? I actually feel quite relieved. I don't want to live this life anymore, not now. Yes, I'd still have at least Rolan and Candice by my side, I know. But I wouldn't have you there too. You lived for six years without me… was it hard? Did you feel what I'm feeling now? No, of course not. You knew it was only a matter of time before I would be awakened, and even if it weren't that way, you're not the person to feel like this. You wouldn't let my death make you wish for death, right, Peta? Or would you? I actually don't know… But even so, I can't help feeling what I feel, now can I? I feel sorry for Rolan and Candice, but what will happen, will happen, one way or another."

Phantom smiled almost happily towards the moon. "You're laughing, aren't you? Here I am, having a dialogue, or rather, monologue, with myself. As if I can hear you answering", he lowered his gaze to the tattoo on his hand. "I will grieve for our dream, since it won't happen now, at least not by us. Our roles in MÄR-Heaven are over, and soon we will be forgotten. My friend, Peta, what do you say about this? What would've happen if your tattoo had been completed? You wouldn't have died, we'd probably both have won, I'm not sure about Danna's son. Ginta is stronger than his father, and me. That was another blunder of mine, to have let him grow so much. But now it's too late to regret, isn't it, Peta? That boy has become strong, found good comrades, and will save this world. Do you think it's worth saving? No, of course you don't, otherwise you wouldn't have joined me in the Chess in the first place. And the Chess was lucky to have you", he put a hand over the place where his heart would beat, had he been alive. "I thank you for your faithful time. May your well deserved rest be good", Phantom smiled a broken smile. "And may I join you soon, wherever you may be. Peta… why-"

Phantom stopped and looked up the sky. "Peta, it started raining. It reminds me of something Rolan said once; 'The rain is crying in the place of someone who can't cry', or something in those lines. I wonder, is it true? Is this you, Peta? Are you crying now? Actually, I've never seen you cry, so this would be the first time. And the first time you let me see your tears, is when you're dead, guess how that would feel. Didn't you trust me, weren't I as important to you as you are for me? Or is it just that you never did cry? Hahahahah, when I think about it, you probably never did cry. And you're not crying now either, no matter what Rolan said about the rain", he turned his face up against the sky and let the rain wash his face, before walking back into the castle.

"You won't have to wait long, Peta. I'll soon be with you, and then we'll be together for eternity, for real this time." And with that, Phantom closed the doors, as well as his heart, for the last time and started waiting.

-Owari-

If there's any grammatical faults or anything, please say it. I'm searching for a beta-reader. And please, remember to R&R 


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